Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Letting go

Well, summer is here and Dallas is at her biological father's. She's been there for a few weeks and will be back in a couple more. I miss her. I've decided it's time to let go a little. No more fighting with him about what's best. She's old enough to say whether or not she wants to go and how long she wants to stay for the summer.

Over the last 15 years I have been quite a judgemental person when it comes to her father. But the truth is...it's not up to me. Regardless of the life Kyle and I give her, she will always love her dad. And that's okay- good in fact, as I'm coming to realize. It just shows me what type of person she is... a very caring and forgiving individual. So I figure if she can forgive him for the things he's done to hurt her than I should be able to too.

So there ya go. It's all out in the open. I'm done holding on to unforgiveness. It really does cause more pain. It's just finally that time.


Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
COLOSSIANS 3:13

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pray

Please!!!! Click the picture below and pray for this beautiful baby boy.




Prayers for Stellan

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Choice of Words


We put away all our Christmas things this past weekend. After a couple of days my son walked into the room where we had the Christmas tree and said,"It's so lonely in here." I said,"Yeah...empty, huh?"

As I sat there for a while longer my thoughts returned to his choice of words. LONELY?...because the Christmas tree is gone? I am fascinated by the feeling he had when walking into the room. Most people just say,"It looks empty".

The two words are synonyms for each other. They mean pretty much the same thing so I'm not sure why I keep thinking about what he said.

Just goes to show you how differently kids look at things.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Please pray for our young girls

My daughter hasn't heard from her biological father in 5 months now. It's not the first time this has happened and I'm sure it won't be the last. I do thank God everyday for my husband. He has been in our lives since Dallas was one and a half years old, so she doesn't remember a day without him. But I wonder what she really feels inside. Sometimes she shares with me and other times she says nothing. Please pray for her.

How painful it must be for all the young girls who face the same situation. I can't help but feel it has to affect their self esteem. I only hope that my husband being in our lives for so long has helped with that. I hope she notices him kissing me and telling me how beautiful I am. I hope it will help her to know how a man is really supposed to treat a woman. I hope that detours her from bad decisions later in life. I hope she knows she is worthy of all good things.

Then there is the teenager who emails me. She is cutting herself and the last time she did, it took a long time to stop bleeding. The kids at her school tell her she should just kill herself. I try my hardest to convince her to get help. I have sent links to websites and hot line numbers for her. But, there is only so much I can do. So I pray for her. Would you pray for her too? She says she is always alone and that her parents could care less about her. I hope she will be okay. My heart aches for her. I hope she knows she is worthy of all good things.

Any young girl out there reading this...please know you are not alone. EVER. God is beside you whispering in your ear, "I love you."

If you need to talk, email me at kcnace@kc.rr.com You can rise above the past. Trust me- because I know.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Growing up too soon

My 7th grade daughter came home from school on the 3rd day with some very disturbing information. Someone her and her best friend talk with at school is doing some crazy things with her boyfriend in his home in the evening. I won't go into details as I'm sure you all can use your imagination. I have heard this girls name before but have never met her. I don't know the circumstances of her life, her living situation, or if her family is even home to keep tabs on her.

As my daughter gets older I am starting to believe the saying "it takes a village to raise a child." I can't help but think if it was my girl doing these things, someone better tell me before it's too late. But, I don't even know these people so what am I supposed to do?

She also tells me about a goth chic that she sits next to in one of her classes. She cuts herself. She says it's how she controls her anger. My daughter, Dallas for those of you who don't know her name, told this girl she was praying for her. The girl confided in Dallas and said she does believe in God but can't stop cutting herself.

Who knew they would have to grow up at such a young age?

Dallas and her best friend have decided not to be friends with the girl who's doing crazy things with her boyfriend. Thank you God, what a grown up decision they've made.

I have told Dallas I don't want her hanging out with the goth chic who is cutting herself but to keep letting her know that she is praying for her.

I am scared because I know there is a very fine line here. A line between doing what is right and going down a path that is hard to return from.

I am scared because there isn't much I can do to stop the world from crashing in on her.

I'm scared because I've buried my head in the sand long enough.

These kids are dealing with things we never dreamed of at this age.



I think of you Dallas, every time I hear this song. I am so proud of you. And Dallas, I love you very much and I am so thankful that you talk with me. I am always here and I will never stop praying for you!
--Love, Mom


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Holy Holy Holy

I was sent this email this morning. It was quite timely in fact. Things haven't been so great for me lately. It reminded me of what my future holds...and that's all I needed to know as I woke.



You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you
want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any
you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A
choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know..

So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see
you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking
lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store.

The Little League baseball game across the street has come to a halt.
Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and
what you see, has never before been seen.

As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of the atmosphere part. A
brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None.
From every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on
the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one
myriad at a time, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.

North. South. East. West.

Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the
sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting,
Holy,holy, holy.. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four
silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in
worship.

Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving
only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a
pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the
chorus. You don't know why you say the words, but you know you
must.

Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The
angels turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.

Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ
the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a
billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration:

I am the Alpha and the Omega.

The angels bow their heads.. The elders remove their crowns. And
before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know:

Nothing else matters. Forget stock markets and school reports. Sales
meetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy.. All that
mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.


This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me,
and he asked: My child, what is your greatest wish for today?


Author Unknown

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Prayer request

...because I would be so blessed and so happy to know someone was doing this for my family if I were in need

http://tammynischan.blogspot.com/ and look for August 13th post.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Writer Interrupted...God and Football

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Come join me here today and read a little something about football and a little something about God!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Happy Birthday to me!

Today I turned 33. That is the same age that Jesus Christ was when he died on the cross for our sins.

So young with so much life left... yet he chose the nails!

What an impact he had on humanity in his 33 short years... yet he still lives on today!

What a mark he left on earth in 33 years!


Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death-
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:6-11

All of that in just 33 years!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Wanting To Be More

I laid in bed this morninig crying for a boy Nick, who has brain cancer. Then , when I was done crying and praying for him, I thanked God for my healthy children. I once again became keenly aware of the type of mother I am.

I am rigid. The military sargeant type. I always want things in their place and I want my kids to mind. I don't want them to ask me questions they already know the answer to, because why waste time talking about it if you already know the answer? I like peace and quiet and order. How's that for my mom abilities? Pretty frightening, right?

We recently returned from vacation, which I hope to post some pics of soon. We had so much fun. The military mom was replaced by a mom who wanted to have fun with her kids. No worries just plain old fashioned fun!

Why can't I be like that at home? Why do I jump down my kids' throats for asking a simple question?

All I want is to play out in the rain with the kids and not care that there will be a puddle of water on the floor when we come in.

All I want is to be able to let the kids play in the house with friends and not care that the toys are everywhere. I act as if the house will never get back to its original state, even though I know it will.

All I want is to take the time to enjoy my kids while I can. But WHY is that so hard for me?

Why am I as rigid as a board?

Thank you, Lord for my healthy kids. Help me to enjoy them before it's too late! Help me to lose control. I'm tired of the anxious thoughts that roam in my head. Help me to let go. In Jesus' name, and all according to your will, Amen

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Pressure and Time

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Over millions of years and about 75 miles below the Earth’s surface, carbon under tremendous pressure transforms into a diamond. Now, while we don’t have millions of years to live here on Earth, God takes the time we do have to transform us into something beautiful.

Come join me today and read about our transformation!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Pure Beauty

First of all I just want to say that what is here today is my jumbled thoughts all thrown together. I hope they make some sort of sense...


As I was driving down the interstate the other day my mind wandered to a time long ago.

It was a place with no road signs, no tall towers, and no pavement. It was just the Earth as God had created it in the beginning. My thoughts were caught up in a simpler time (maybe...no washing machines!) :)

I was surrounded by the beauty of God's creation. I mean, even now, I see how beautiful it all is, but for a moment there was nothing to distract away from that magnificence.

It got me to thinking of Job 38. It's one of my favorite places in the Bible. I'm amazed at how many times I end up in this same chapter.

I am just a speck of sand here on Earth yet he knows my name. He is in control of my life even when I think I'm so big I can handle it myself. This scripture puts me in my place so to speak.

I have huge significance in this world yet there is someone who is more significant. There is someone who is in control...and it's not me.

I am finding myself praying more to my Father in heaven than I have for a long time. I find myself not spending as much time in his word but in conversation with him. I used to get down on myself when I wouldn't spend that time in the Bible gobbling up all he has to say to me. In this time I am simply listening more for his voice prompting me to talk with him.

If I had the patience :) I would type out all of Job 38 for you. But, I urge all of you to take a few minutes today and let God show you who is REALLY in control of your life!

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!! GOD CAN CHANGE THINGS IF IT"S MEANT TO BE!!